6 March 1691
Yes, of course! The 333rd anniversary of Jesuits in Goa being granted a monopoly on the production and export of Goa stones to Portugal — only a century or so after a doctor proved they didn’t work.
Mind you, the ‘work’ they were supposed to do was counteract poison, and their ingredients could include amber, ambergis, coral, crushed gemstones, fossil shark teeth, hair, narwhal horn, shells, and tusks (usually covered in gold leaf) — and the wonderdrug was administered by shaving a bit off into water or wine and drinking it, so its lack of efficacy is perhaps not surprising.
(Ambergris, of course, is the waxy lumps of… matter that develop in sperm whales’ intestines. Ooh, yes please.)
Goa stones were invented by a Jesuit brother called Gaspar Antonio because bezoars were too rare. Bezoars, as any Harry Potter fan can tell you, come
from the stomach of a goat and … will save you from most poisons
In fact any ruminant will do — especially antelope, deer, and sheep — and bezoars largely consist of food, gallstones and animal hair. The word bezoar, apparently, comes from either the Persian pahnzehr or the Arabic badzehr, which both mean antidote or ‘counter-poison’.
Anyway, back in 1567,
A gentleman at the [French] court showed to Charles IX a bezoar-stone, as was the fashion then to show all sorts of odd things to Royalty, and told him it was an antidote to all poisons.
Remarkably for a 16th-century monarch, Charles asked his surgeon, Ambroise Paré, if this was true, and — equally unusually for a quack of that era — Ambroise said no, it’s balls. So, they tested it with Actual Science.
Well, this all sounds marvellously ethical, and I’m sure the cook doesn’t feel pressured into… Ah.
Still, the story (from Stephen Paget’s Ambroise Paré and his times, 1510–1590) can’t get worse, can it? It must have a happy ending. Is it at least quick?
Gordon Bennett. Anyway, you can still see Goa stones in places like the Kunsthistorisches Museum in Vienna, the Metropolitan Museum in New York, and the Wellcome Collection in London — often in ornate gold or silver cases.
