Well, if it’s 18 October, it’s the date of the Charlton Horn Fair, a traditional day of fancy dress, horn-wearing, cross-dressing, boozing and occasional riots in celebration of King John cuckolding a miller and — when caught — giving the miller some land to avoid having his throat cut.
The story is recounted in the Oxford Dictionary of English Folklore, which suggests they were just kissing — not what’s shown in that engraving, by the look of it; that’s at least second base
King John was out hunting on Shooter’s Hill, and he stopped to rest at a miller’s house. The only person home was the miller’s attractive wife and she and the king were just ‘kissing’ when the miller returned and caught them. He drew his dagger, threatening to kill them both, but when he realized who he was dealing with, he wisely asked for some other recompense instead. The king therefore granted him all the land visible from Charlton to the river beyond Rotherhithe, and also the right to hold a fair every 18 October (St Luke’s Day). The miller’s jealous neighbours gave the name Cuckold’s Point to the river boundary and they started wearing horns at the fair as a derisive gesture.
However, rather spoiling the fun, the Dictionary adds: “Needless to say, no charter from King John can be found” and suggests that “Given the popular connection between horns and cuckoldry, the origin story was concocted later to fit the known facts”.
Not that that stopped the occasion becoming known for its ribaldry:
people who visited the fair made a point of wearing horns if they could, and many appeared in fancy dress, with sexual cross-dressing a common theme.
In his A tour thro’ the Whole Island of Great Britain (1724–27), Daniel Defoe, wrote of
a Village famous, or rather infamous, for the yearly collected Rabble of Mad-People … the Rudeneſs of which I cannot but think, is such as ought to be ſuppreſs’d
…and one William Fuller said his landlady’s clothes were
…which is not quite as ‘oh, aye, William?’ as it sounds. According to Ian Visits, William was
dressed in my landlady’s best gown and … as we were coming back by water, all the clothes were spoilt by dirty water etc. that was flung on us in an inundation.
The fair had its heyday during the Restoration, when it was promoted with handbills such as these with their air of shenanigans
In his book, The English Year, Steve Roud says “The idea of horned beings added a ‘devilish’ tinge to the fair’s reputation”, and “From the eighteenth century onwards, writers queued up to condemn the goings-on”.
To be fair, in 1845, The Morning Chronicle reported pissed-up soldiers behaving very badly indeed.
![RIOT AT CHARLTON FAIR. Another disgraceful scene took place on Tuesday night by the “gentlemen” cadets mustering from 100 to 150 strong, dressed in disguise. They sallied forth, armed with huge stakes, &c., when they formed into two divisions. On reaching the military huts near the Common, the pass-word being “Halt, Marines, dress up in good order; forward, Marines,” they marched forward to Charlton, but better known as “Horn Fair,” where they committed the most wanton outrages …[cont]](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1400/format:webp/1*w46VG2w9-HDF9Fi0T9cuaA.png)
…and Roud says “it is remarkable that the fair lasted as long as it did”. Those legendary lovers of hi-jinks, the Victorians, passed The Fairs Act in 1871, and suppressed this day and night of misrule.
In March 1872, London’s Daily News reported that “The fiat has gone forth that the Horn Fair of Charlton be discontinued”, along with a similar festival at Blackheath, and — perhaps most disappointingly:
The fair was revived only in 1973, and then in ‘family-friendly’ form. These days, the greatest outrage against decency you’ll see there — and, admittedly, it’s a considerable one — is Morris dancing.
