Odd this day

Today, apparently, is National or possibly International Potato Day, so here is some root-vegetable-native-to-the-Americas content. We begin with the potato monument in Poland, because, well: look at it. Of course we do.

There is also a potato Airbnb in Idaho…

This giant potato is actually a mini hotel room

…because Idaho is the potato capital of America

Here is an abandoned potato-sorting station in Ukraine.

Or was. God knows what’s happened to it by now

Perhaps you would prefer a story about a potato statue in Cyprus which contains the unimprovable sentence “George Tasou rejected social media claims that his giant spud resembled a penis”?

Weird Europe: Villagers in Cyprus chip in for a giant potato

Apparently, it’s been vandalised since.

'Big potato' statue cut down by vandals in village in Cyprus

There are anthropomorphic potato statues in Germany

…and Canada:

Thousands raised for N.B. roadside potato man statue in need of many fixings - New Brunswick |…

While Rhode Island can boast at least nine differently decorated Mr Potato Heads.

Few People Know Where All Of Rhode Island's Mr. Potato Heads Are Now

Canada can also boast a potato statue on Prince Edward Island which appears to be closely related to Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo.

…and these nightmare-fuel tubers in Southern Alberta

Mind you, this is Siberia’s idea of a humanoid spud, so…

This is described as the best monument in Boston, which may be understating its reach, I think.

You can find out more about it here, and I think you should — not least because the explanation given by “Ross Miller, the man perhaps most responsible for the statue” is simply: “I just thought it would be fun”.

'Potato, potato, potatoes, potato': The story behind one of Boston's most obscure monuments

And what do we have in Britain, you might well ask? This green and pleasant land, this sceptred isle, this demi-paradise, this PROUD NATION OF STARCHY TUBER EATERS? I’ll tell you what we’ve bloody got — a sculpture that’s been criticised for looking like a potato but isn’t one.

Coast path sculpture ridiculed for looking like a 'giant baked potato'

We have Potato Review, a bi-monthly magazine for the potato industry, the British Potato Trade Association, and The Potato Forum, and yet no statue of SO MUCH AS A CHIP.

Belgium has a museum dedicated to fries. (In fact, Austria, Canada, Denmark, France, Germany, Italy, Lithuania and the United States have museums to potatoes in one form or another, if Wikipedia is to be believed.)

Bruges’ Frietmuseum — outside, a sculpture of potatoes inside, and the gift shop

This country has a defunct online carrot museum.

World Carrot Museum - The Encyclopedia of Carrots

THIS WILL NOT DO. We must rise up, as one, and erect one of these on that plinth in Trafalgar Square. Only then, friends, ONLY THEN will this once great nation be able once more to hold its head high.

Join me!