Odd this day

24 February — or, as it’s also known, the anniversary of the day the US Supreme Court decided you can take the piss out of an evangelical fundamentalist by having him ‘confess’ in a mock Campari advert that his first sexual experience was with his mother in an outhouse.

The Hustler mock Campari Ad: Jerry Falwell talks about his first time. See bottom of page for alt text

Yes, it was on this day in 1988 that the court handed down its verdict on Hustler v Falwell, after America’s most gonzo jazz mag ran a childish, distasteful, but (let’s be honest), still (at least in parts) amusing cod interview with then-prominent preacher, Jerry.

At the time, Campari adverts in somewhat more upmarket outlets had glamorous women such as Geraldine Chaplin, or — in this example — Jill St John, talk about the first time they tried Campari in an innuendo-laden ‘interview’ implying that they were (oh, how very droll) talking dirty.

The Supreme Court ruling points this out itself, but there is pleasure to be had from the studiedly straight-faced tone of voice in which they do it:

Mind you, once they start describing the actual spoof ad, their poker face has much the same effect as Leslie Nielsen’s:

The fact that the already loaded Falwell fundraised for his court case by mailing over half a million of his supporters about the attack on him, thus hugely widening its reach, is not unamusing, either.

Mind you, they gave him $672,000, so maybe he wasn’t stupid. And bringing in the Pope is a nice touch, there. All the best people do that.

I digress. The case swung, of course, on the First Amendment, and the justices decided that — while the ad was “doubtless gross and repugnant in the eyes of most” — it belonged to a tradition of parody without which “our political discourse would have been considerably poorer.”

That verdict still exercises legal minds today — or at least it did as recently as 2012, when John M Kang asked:

Should Hustler Magazine, that cesspit of obscene juvenilia and vicious snark, be entitled to publish a horrifically humiliating parody about you?

It’s a valid question. We might be tempted to side with Flynt, because Falwell is so ludicrous. In the words of Terence Rattigan (in 1955’s Separate Tables):

The trouble about being on the side of right, as one sees it, is that one sometimes finds oneself in the company of such very questionable allies.

…because questionable Flynt undoubtedly was, as the New York Review of Books pointed out in 1997:

Clearly, I’m not qualified to give a verdict on the legal niceties, but it remains an interesting case: what is the definition (and cost) of free speech? Is either side right enough for me to want to agree with them?

I don’t know the answers, but I have to confess, I do like the juvenile details of the ad. Where the genuine one says “CAMPARI. The smart mixable!”, for example, the filthy one has “Campari. The mixable that smarts.”

Finally, though: I may have gone off at a couple of odd tangents back there, but a twist in the tale which I don’t think anyone could expect is that, some years after the court case, and until Falwell’s death, the two men became sort-of friends.

Appendix: alt text from that image at the top

FALWELL: My first time was in an outhouse outside Lynchburg. Virginia.
INTERVIEWER: Wasn’t it a little cramped?
FALWELL: Not after I kicked the goat out.
INTERVIEWER: I see. You must tell me all about it.
FALWELL I never really expected to make it with Mom, but then after she showed all the other guys in town such a good time. I figured, “What the hell!”
INTERVIEWER: But your mom? Isn’t that a bit odd?
FALWELL I don’t think so. Looks don’t mean that much to me in a woman
INTERVIEWER: Go on.
FALWELL: Well, we were drunk off our God- fearing asses on Cam- pari, ginger ale and soda-that’s called a Fire and Brimstone-at the time. And Mom looked better than a Baptist whore with a $100 donation.
INTERVIEWER: Campari in the crapper with Mom… how interesting. Well, how was it?
FALWELL: The Campari was great, but Mom passed out before I could come.
INTERVIEWER: Did you ever try it again?
FALWELL Sure… lots of times. But not in the outhouse. Between Mom and the shit, the flies were too much to bear.
INTERVIEWER: We meant the Campari.
FALWELL: Oh, yeah. I always get sloshed before I go out to the pulpit. You don’t think I could lay down all that bullshit sober, do you?

Campari, like all liquor, was made to mix you up. It’s a light, 48-proof, refreshing spirit, just mild enough to make you drink too much before you know you’re schnockered For your first time, mix it with orange juice. Or maybe some white wine. Then you won’t remember anything the next morning. Campari. The mixable that smarts.
CAMPARI. You’ll never forget your first time.

[At the bottom, in small capital letters] *AD PARODY — NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY