Well, as you may know, this account has highlighted the Very Important Scientific Knowledge imparted by the stone martens that brought down the Large Hadron Collider. Odd this day 29 April? Yes, that’s right! 7th anniversary of the day a stone marten ran into a 66,000 volt transformer, causing a…mulberryhall.medium.com …and you may also have seen the equally vital findings from the man who tried to swallow the wrong type of fish while shitfaced.

Well, if it’s 4 June… of course: it’s the 228th anniversary of the day London was destroyed in an apocalyptic earthquake, taking the government with it. Or would have been, had Richard Brothers actually been a prophet and not… slightly misguided, let’s say. It was the second date he’d predicted…

A supernatural anniversary today, for at precisely 2.10pm on 3 June 1997, an apparition appeared in the British Museum’s reading room, just as Max Beerbohm had said it would in 1916 — the shade of Enoch Soames, who had once done a deal with the devil… “About a dozen” people…

Well, if it’s 2 June, it must be… YES, OF COURSE: the 28th anniversary of golfer Peter Croke teeing off at the 17th hole at Southerndown Golf Club near Porthcawl in Wales only to see his ball strike a sheep right in the arsehole. And get stuck. Peter, quoted in Sam Jordison’s Annus Horribilis — 365 tales of comic misfortune, said the sheep looked mildly surprised by the whole thing, but we were in hysterics.

On this day in 1965, the sport of cycling banned performance drugs. Why, in those far-off, innocent, pre-Lance Armstrong times, had they need of such measures? Because everyone in the Tour de France was off their bollocks on speed, apparently. According to Richard Davenport-Hines’ excellent The Pursuit of Oblivion, “19th…

Ah, yes: 31 May — 89th anniversary of the last diary entry of the first man who tried to climb Everest solo. …

Well, if it’s 30 May, it must be… YES, THAT’S RIGHT! The 284th anniversary of the unveiling of Jacques de Vaucanson’s mechanical shitting duck. That’s it in the middle there, between his pipe and tabor-playing automaton and his flute-playing automaton, although you can get a slightly better idea what it…

29 May — 105th anniversary of the start of a libel trial which centred around allegations of a ‘Cult of the Clitoris’ involving Margot Asquith, wife of the Prime Minister, and of the Germans being about to win WWI by blackmailing 47,000 known homosexuals. Obviously. The plaintiff was a dancer…

Happy 112th birthday to a small German mountain hut in the Bavarian Alps! Why? Well, because it was opened on this day in 1911 (obviously) and because of its name. Yes, this esteemed institution sits on the grassy summit of a 1,780m tall mountain called Wank.